i had a doctor appointment at 8:30 this morning. when the doctor came into my room he asked me why i needed to see him, and he sort of had a shocked smile on his face when i pulled out the list i had prepared the night before. see, i had to make a list, because i had so many little things to have checked i knew i would forget something when it came down to the actual discussion with doc jones.
after hearing all of my concerns he said, "well, well, you're just here for a basic tune-up, aren't you?" i thought that summed it up quite well. i really like doctor jones, and i knew he could get me taken care of before my big move. i did have some major questions, but most things were just little issues.
good news, the funky patch of skin on my thigh is just that...a funky patch of skin, not cancer. whew. the cortisone injection hurt like crazy, but it has made my carpal tunnel/rheumatoid arthritis less painful, so it's worth it. i said goodbye to the grotesque skin tags on my eyelid.
oh, that reminds me, one of my professors from last semester once said to me, "danelle, not only are those skin tags disgusting, but they could easily be removed." wasn't that a sweet way to tell me i'm a hideous beast?
the rest of the little health issues were taken care of, too, and i never even had to get naked. lucky doctor jones. so then i was off to tune-up number two. the phrase "number two" has so many meanings, all of which apply to this next project, because i was headed home to refloor my bathroom.
i stopped by true value hardware on the way home to rent a linoleum scraper tool.
my nice mom came over to help with this portion of the renovation. the linoleum was a pain in the patootie because it had been glued directly onto hardwood floors. good thing i had that cortisone injection. the linoleum was also disguising the rotted nastiness of an old toilet leakage problem. i knew that there would be something like that going on before we started the project, but even with forewarning, it was gross. i've hated that floor ever since i bought the house, but i've only recently had the motivation to do something about it.
we're now a third of the way through the project. tomorrow two of my sisters will help me level the subfloor before we put down the cement board and tile. it will be so pretty when we're done...just in time for me to move out. hopefully someone will rent my house and be able to enjoy all of our hard work. i would love to share before and after photos with you all, but i spent all of my new camera funds on the bathroom floor and doctor bill. i know, it's crappy.
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about me
- Danelle
- i love to read, but only happy, fictional books. reading is my escape from the everyday stresses of life, so i want the story to be interesting, uplifting, and over with within 800 pages. no loose ends, please.
some quotes i find amusing
In a world full of Cheerios, be a Froot Loop!
I can't tell you if genius is hereditary, because heaven has granted me no offspring.
i hope your eco-friendly status symbol doesn't smash into a poor, innocent tree.
a good workplace safety rule is to keep employees apart if their weight differs by 11,850 pounds and the heavier one has two prior murders.
women are angels and when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly. . .on broomsticks. we're flexible like that.
advice is a lot like deodorant, the people you most want to give it to are probably not going to use it anyway.
There is great need for a sarcasm font.
How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
"when you use the word 'like' in inappropriate places all the time, it makes you sound like you don't know nothin'!"
"the happiest people aren't necessarily those who have everything, but those who make the most of everything they have."
"you were meant for me. perhaps as a punishment."
"the only consistent feature in all of your dissatisfying relationships is you."
"if you think the problems the government creates are bad, just wait until you see their solutions."
"genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99% perspiration, which is why engineers sometimes smell really bad."
"with focus, dedication and steroids, men can achieve impossible dreams. like breaking a world record. or growing their own breasts."
"the downside of being better than everyone else is that people tend to assume you're pretentious."
"quitters never win, and winners never quit, but those who never win AND never quit are idiots."
"when you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the earth which will destroy all life. then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. unless it's death by meteor."
"since i can't be a good example to others, the least i can do is serve as a terrible warning."
"i can't wait for annie to get her first facelift. . .she's going to need 2 doctors." joan rivers about two-faced annie duke.
"clint black is a one man band. . .he'd give himself a hickie." -joan rivers about the annoying clint black
"no one feels as helpless as someone with a sick goldfish." -so true
"why doesn't he try to kick our ass at being a good person?" -jesse james to dennis rodman with love
“once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.” -einstein (thanks trina!)
"it may be true that the early bird gets the worm, but have you ever stopped to consider that the early worm gets eaten?"
"there are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory."
"rose-colored glasses are never made in bifocals. nobody wants to read the small print in dreams."
"intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings."
"i've always wanted to be somebody, but i see now i should have been more specific."
"the first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left."
"how old would you be if you didn't know how old you was?"
"when i was younger, i could remember anything, whether it had happened or not."
"some folks never exaggerate--they just remember big."
"if you're yearning for the good old days, just turn off the air conditioning."
"i don't want everyone to like me; i should think less of myself if some people did."
"don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
"it's no fun doing nothing when you've got nothing to do."
"some people are a lot like slinkies. they don't really do much, but it puts a smile on your face when you see them tumble down a flight of stairs."
"tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to be sarcastic."
"scars are tattoos with better stories."
"i’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous."
"the trouble with life is there’s no background music."
"light travels faster than sound, that’s why some people appear bright until they speak."
"people are seldom too busy to stop and tell you how busy they are."
"the sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up."
"deep down I’m a very shallow person."
"before you insult somebody you should walk a mile in their shoes. that way when you insult them you'll be a mile away and have their shoes!"
"dance, even if you have to warn others to get out of the way first."
"by the time you read this you've already read it."
more to come
I can't tell you if genius is hereditary, because heaven has granted me no offspring.
i hope your eco-friendly status symbol doesn't smash into a poor, innocent tree.
a good workplace safety rule is to keep employees apart if their weight differs by 11,850 pounds and the heavier one has two prior murders.
women are angels and when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly. . .on broomsticks. we're flexible like that.
advice is a lot like deodorant, the people you most want to give it to are probably not going to use it anyway.
There is great need for a sarcasm font.
How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
"when you use the word 'like' in inappropriate places all the time, it makes you sound like you don't know nothin'!"
"the happiest people aren't necessarily those who have everything, but those who make the most of everything they have."
"you were meant for me. perhaps as a punishment."
"the only consistent feature in all of your dissatisfying relationships is you."
"if you think the problems the government creates are bad, just wait until you see their solutions."
"genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99% perspiration, which is why engineers sometimes smell really bad."
"with focus, dedication and steroids, men can achieve impossible dreams. like breaking a world record. or growing their own breasts."
"the downside of being better than everyone else is that people tend to assume you're pretentious."
"quitters never win, and winners never quit, but those who never win AND never quit are idiots."
"when you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the earth which will destroy all life. then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. unless it's death by meteor."
"since i can't be a good example to others, the least i can do is serve as a terrible warning."
"i can't wait for annie to get her first facelift. . .she's going to need 2 doctors." joan rivers about two-faced annie duke.
"clint black is a one man band. . .he'd give himself a hickie." -joan rivers about the annoying clint black
"no one feels as helpless as someone with a sick goldfish." -so true
"why doesn't he try to kick our ass at being a good person?" -jesse james to dennis rodman with love
“once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.” -einstein (thanks trina!)
"it may be true that the early bird gets the worm, but have you ever stopped to consider that the early worm gets eaten?"
"there are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory."
"rose-colored glasses are never made in bifocals. nobody wants to read the small print in dreams."
"intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings."
"i've always wanted to be somebody, but i see now i should have been more specific."
"the first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left."
"how old would you be if you didn't know how old you was?"
"when i was younger, i could remember anything, whether it had happened or not."
"some folks never exaggerate--they just remember big."
"if you're yearning for the good old days, just turn off the air conditioning."
"i don't want everyone to like me; i should think less of myself if some people did."
"don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
"it's no fun doing nothing when you've got nothing to do."
"some people are a lot like slinkies. they don't really do much, but it puts a smile on your face when you see them tumble down a flight of stairs."
"tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to be sarcastic."
"scars are tattoos with better stories."
"i’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous."
"the trouble with life is there’s no background music."
"light travels faster than sound, that’s why some people appear bright until they speak."
"people are seldom too busy to stop and tell you how busy they are."
"the sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up."
"deep down I’m a very shallow person."
"before you insult somebody you should walk a mile in their shoes. that way when you insult them you'll be a mile away and have their shoes!"
"dance, even if you have to warn others to get out of the way first."
"by the time you read this you've already read it."
more to come
10 comments:
I've heard that you can basically remove skin tags yourself, with nail clippers. Blech.
Kristina,
I must admit, I have removed skin tags myself in my home operating room (bathroom) with my sanitized scalpel (tweezers and tiny scissors), but this skin tag was located in a tricky spot on my eyelid. I didn't want to risk blinding myself for beauty (beast decreasing de-uglification).
Thanks for the blechy information, though...please don't pass the same info onto your local rabbi.
You could have some veggies from the garden, but you have to come visit us to get them! :) Really, though, we'd love for you to visit before you head up north!
Jen (not Dylan)
You had me laughing about your hideous beast comment. Although I definitely would NOT call you a hideous beast. TOo funny. I love all your posts...you make me laugh.
Shawn loves to remove skin tags. And unfortunately I get them all the time. He too uses nail clippers. There you go. Kristina P. uses true doctor techniques in her removal process. (I personally would rather just keep the things and complain about them rather than have him come at me with the nail clippers)
I am sad that the loss of your camera is preventing us from seeing your bathroom remodel. New bathrooms are so fun! Oh, and your professor is a jerk.
Cristy,
Thanks. I, too, thought the professor was a jerk. She gave me an 'A' in the class, though, so I still wave when she says hello. Still...jerk.
Usually when I have the forethought to make a list for the doctor the list is forgotten at home. That's why I had to schedule a special appointment for my mole check-up, I forgot to mention it at my well-visit a month earlier.
We have projects at our house that likely won't be done until it's time to leave. We feel your pain!
Danelle, i think you need to go door to door in Blanding asking people to contribute to your summer slushy fund (aka tyler's new anchor fund). Then you can buy yourself a new camera.
The thought of you without a camera makes me cry inside. And, by the way, what is a skin tag? I'm starting to feel just a little bit jealous for never having had one.
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